The Spirit

Are you willing to listen, when your mother preach the Lessons for Women before you marry to a new family? When I was young, I wasn’t.

In Han Dynasty, the first century in China, the first female Chinese historian Ban Zhao at age of 70 wrote the most famous lessons for women, four virtues a woman must abide by. They are proper virtue (fude), proper speech (fuyan), proper manner (fuyong), and proper conduct (fugong). They became the Bible for women in China for the past 20 centuries. Ban Zhao was stigmatized by modern feminists for gender discrimination in her lessons for women.

Nobody likes to be told what to do, women don’t, neither do men. But if you are interested in what you’re being told to do, then it is another story.

Last month, upon the request of my husband, I returned to Pu-tzu for a month to take care of my bed-ridden parents-in-law. A month on call day and night? Yes, an entire month. But I found it inspiring to accompany the seniors in the family and I found a new way of living with joy.

January the 6th, on my way home in Pu-tzu from the High Speed Railroad Chia-yi Station, I stopped by the Embroidery Culture Center to borrow the ladies room to take care of my biological need. In the end, I signed up to be a member of the Chia-yi Embroidery Association. I learned the basic needle skills and I purchased all necessary tools, including the frames, needles and many silk yarns of different colors, because I knew once I walked into the big house of my parents-in-law, it would be difficult for me to get out.

Both my parents-in-law received education during the Japanese occupation period. My father-in-law was educated to be the boss of the family. He gives orders and his wife and children follow, so do his children-in-law. From the moment he became bed-ridden, he has been equipped with a beeper in hand. Whenever he needs something, he beeps.

In the past month, I took orders from my bed-ridden father-in-law every 20 minutes or so unless he was asleep. Was I upset? Yes, at night, but during the day, I found peace in my mind with an embroidery frame in hand. The more I embroidered, the more skillful I became. My husband was satisfied with my proper conduct (fugong) and my embroidery works impressed family and friends.

“Sherry, get me some warm water”, requested my father-in-law.
“Yes, sir, right away”, I replied.

“The water is not warm”, complained my father-in-law.
“Okay, I will add hot water in your cup at once”, I grabbed the cup and went upstairs to adjust the water temperature.

“Sherry, I want to go to the toilette”, commanded my father-in-law.
“Yes, Father”, I helped my father stand up to walk to the toilette.

“Ding-Dong”, sounded the beeper of my father-in-law.
“Yes, Father, what can I do for you”, I asked.
“Nothing, I just beep you to see if the beeper works and to check if you’re around”, smiled my father-in-law.

“Sherry”, called my father-in-law.
“Yes, here I am”, I replied.
“Sherry, I’m fond of you, you’re indeed an obedient daughter-in-law. You answer my call without me beeping”, praised me my father-in-law.

At the beginning of year 2009, I was contented that I made many artistic embroidery works in Pu-tzu while taking care of my parents-in-law. I was happy that I had the opportunity to appreciate the Lessons for Women by Ban Zhao and to cherish the Chinese embroidery traditions and cultures inherited from our ancestors. I feel grateful from the bottom of my heart to become a Chinese woman of virtue.

From a housewife to a skilled master of embroidery, there is still a long way to go, but I’m determined to get there no mater how far it could be.

I’m a hat aficionado. Sophia Chen is a makeup artist and hair stylist. We met with each other at Grand Toastmasters Club in late 2007. Being helpless esthetes, we became instant friends at the first sight. When Sophia knew I was crazy about hats, she told me secretly about her dream to have a designer’s hats exhibition in 2008. Our relationship began.

On Christmas day, I got up early. I was invited by Sophia as a model to wear her designer’s hats, to pose for United Daily News. But when the editor-in-chief saw me, she questioned Sophia coldhearted immediately why she invited a middle-aged housewife in stead of a young and pretty girl to pose for one of the major newspapers in Taiwan and if Sophia wanted to ruin her editor-in-chief’s career. Sophia was shocked and speechless. As a hat designer, Sophia thought I was the best model because she designed the hats specifically with me in her image. 

The professions and talents prevailed. Complaints aside, Sophia started converting me into a supermodel, and I exerted every effort to put on my best possible smiling face in front of the lenses. In the end, we won the trust and acknowledgement from both editor-in-chief and the photographer. I am happy for Sophia for achieving her goal to hold an exhibition of designer’s hats in 2008. It was not a small designer’s hats exhibition for a few hundreds of visitors, it was a special report of her designer’s hats on a big newspaper during the Chinese New Year holidays, for tens of thousands of readers.

As for me, I am happy for myself to expand to a new category of modeling successfully. It was another milestone for my newly-begun modeling adventure. On Christmas Day, Santa Claus sent the biggest gifts of self-esteem to Sophia and me, because we dare take the challenge to realize our dreams.

What a Merry Christmas it was today!

I was on the stage of National Taipei University of Education’s big auditorium, from 1PM till 3PM, Tuesday afternoon, December 16th, coaching a designing class of 50 sophomore students about the catwalk on the runway. Wow, I was not only a supermodel, but I also taught young people how to act like a supermodel. It was like a dream come true for me. I’m feeling excited!

“Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”, said Forrest Gump’s Mum. Indeed, we never know what will happen next minute, but it will happen when there is a will. Just about when I felt frustrated and joked about not being recognized as a model at Taipeier Cafe’, I didn’t expect that I would have been invited to give a lecture about modeling on a college campus. Isn’t the will power amazing?

Last Saturday afternoon, while Sophia Chen helped me with the hairstyle for the annual performance of Thousand Cranes Japanese Dance School at Youth Arts Center, I told her about the episode at Taipeier Cafe’. Sophia asked me immediately if I would be interested in coaching college students about modeling and posing for cameras. Voila! There I was, standing tall on the podium to demonstrate my body talks, surrounding by students. All of them followed my directions and copied the way I moved diligently on the runway. It was a fun and amazing experience to pose in front of 50 cameras like a supermodel.

After class, the professor in charge of the class invited me for coffee along with Sophia and a bunch of enthusiastic students. It was a pleasant experience to see college professor and students communicate without any barriers. The professor in charge got his doctor degree in Design from Tokyo University. We became instant friends because of the Japanese language. He invited me to help students put on a fashion show at the end of the school year next Spring.

What a wonderful challenge it will be to work with many ardent students to enrich their lives as well as mine in the coming year!

It is said that the global economic downturn will last for another three years. I can’t imagine what it would be like by then. The business is already slow in Taipei everywhere, shopping centers, restaurants, and coffeehouses. Where are the customers?

Monday morning, December 8th, I joined two of my golden ladies friends for brunch at Taipeier Cafe’. Virginia and I arrived at the coffeehouse at 11 o’clock. We were the only two customers. After Virginia ordered her Farmer’s Brunch (cheese & salad), she walked around the coffeehouse with a big Canon on her neck. I remained at the table on the patio waiting for my Happy Brunch (scrambled eggs & sausage) with patience. I felt relaxed sitting in the sun, drinking coffee, while putting on my makeup.

When the manager brought Virginia’s order, he asked me if Virginia was a photographer. Then he asked me if I was a journalist or a free lancer. I thought for a second, and replied that I was a free lancer. Even I had a big makeup box in front of me, I didn’t look like a model. What a disappointment! When Virginia came back, I told her the small episode and she looked at me with a sympathetic smile. No matter how much I’ve posed  in front of Virginia’s big Canon, I have not been successful so far leaving people with an impression that I was a supermodel on the runway.

Lydia came join us at 12 noon. We were the only three customers till we left Taipeier Cafe’, the prestigious coffeehouse in downtown Taipei, at one o’clock. Where is everybody in Taipei? It is indeed a pity to see the empty garden coffeehouse with nobody around the big white Christmas tree. How nice it would be to see a full house of customers eating, drinking, chatting, and laughing in the sun, during Christmas time.

Tuesday at noon, I felt encouraged when I shopped at a boutique in my neighborhood. I was the only customer. After trying on several bling bling tops, the sales girl approached me with a smile and asked me if I was a dancer. She complimented my figure and brought me all the fine items at a good discount. I was so happy to be served and to be recognized that I bought them all. Why not? I am a dancer, I could use all those beautiful outfits in the future. On top of that, I’m boosting the economy in Taiwan. I’m doing somethign for my country. It never feels better to spend than now!

Our body talks. People can tell what we do by the way our body moves. In three days, I shall be performing a Japanese dance at the Youth Arts Center. I wonder if people can tell from the way I walk on the street imagining myself dancing in Kimono on stage?

On the journey to the destination, it will never be bored if Taiwanese are on the charter bus. They sing as soon as the bus takes off, from one stop to the next, they sing nonstop. One group member will serve as the Karaoke operator voluntarily. One group member will pass the songbook at the front of bus and help members place orders of the songs, another group member will do likewise at the back of the bus. When it is a duet, someone will help sing the female or male vocal part. When it is a group song, everyone on the bus will join the crowd.

That’s what happened during two of my one-day excursions on Tuesday and Friday this week. Early Tuesday morning, December 2nd, 21 Hsin-tien volunteers chartered a deluxe medium-size bus for the annual outing to the northeast coast of Taiwan. We departed from Hsin-tien Cultural Center at 7, As soon as we got on the bus, we didn’t waste a single second to begin our karaoke party. Every volunteer took turns to sing the relay. Even when a volunteer saw a breathtaking scenery, we wouldn’t take a break. The songs kept flowing in the air. Nothing stopped when time passed, except the images remained and the voices lingered.

We arrived at Tung-ao Train Staion before 8:50, started our hiking attempt along 2.1K Sunshine Trail to Nan-ao with a senior volunteer at the age of 80 for a couple of hours. After a seafood luncheon, we embarked upon another coastal trial for three hours. I gave up the adventure to the mysterious cave at far, I took a rest on the beach, listening to the roars of the Pacific in the winds. I became a part of the huge rock cliff by the seashore. I picked up 3 drift wood branches on the beach as souvenirs, returned to the bus with gratitude. The seafood dinner was as sumptuous as the lunch, if not more. We arrived home in Hsin-tien singing Karaoke all the way till the last minute. 

Friday morning, December 5th, I joined 70 volunteers of North Region Senior Citizens’ Home for an annual outing to Hello Kitty Resort in Kuan-shi in the morning and Hakka Village in Bei-pu in the afternoon. When we were on the deluxe charter bus, we sang. When we were off the bus, we shopped. Even before we receive the consumer voucher of NT$3,600 from the government, we started spending to boost the economy of Taiwan. Singing is contagious, so is shopping. Imagine a group of 70 volunteers at the average of 60, mainly females, you can predict the buying power of us.

Travelling Karaoke Boxes are unique phenomena in Taiwan. Strangers can break the ice easily and instantly when everybody sings together in Mandarin, Taiwanese, Japanese, English. I don’t know how many charter buses are running on the road everyday. But if the state-of-the-art satellites can record the decibel, Taiwan would certainly excel when the travelling Karaoke boxes are weaving the highways of transportation and communication in a melodious way.

On Thanksgiving, it feels good to say thanks to people around us. On Thanksgiving, it feels good to be surrounded by wonderful family and friends. On Thanksgiving, it feels good to surround a delicious stuffed roasted turkey for dinner.

“Do you also celebrate Thanksgiving Day in Taiwan?” a professor from Thailand asked me at the dinner party of 14th International Conference on Heavy Metals in the environment last Tuesday evening. “No, Thanksgiving is not a holiday in Taiwan, but I celebrate it just the same because it is a meaningful day for family togetherness”, I explained my fond of Thanksgiving to soil scientists sitting at the same table with me. Two of them were from Japan, three from Canada, one from Hong Kong, one from Thailand, two from Taiwan.

My first American Thanksgiving feast was in 1979 with graduate students of LSU Medical Center in New Orleans. It was the first time I saw many traditional Thanksgiving dishes displayed on the dinner table, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pies. It was the most memorable Thanksgiving in my life. I am grateful to my classmates at school and their friendship.

It was a sunny Thursday today. Thanks God for the lovely weather after many cloudy days. I took out the bedspread and blanket, exposed them in the sun. My husband and I shall have a sweet dream in the warm blanket tonight. On the veranda, I read two books this morning, one is ”In search of an illustrated book in the desert” by Kunio Yanagida, the other is “My Life in Germany Before and After 1933″ by Karl Lowith. I’m grateful to both authors for sharing their thoughts on life and death.

After lunch, I practiced Japanese dancing with my classmates for a couple of hours. We were excited about the dress rehearsal this coming Sunday afternoon. Our annual dancing performance will take place Saturday afternoon, December 13th. Many Japanese dancers will come support our big event. I am grateful that I have the good opportunity to excel myself in Japanese dancing.

My brother Jimmy invited my husband and me for dinner. He made Chinese noodles to go with the roasted honey chicken. After a big dinner, we had sweet rice balls stuffed with sesame paste for dessert. I am grateful to my brother for a cozy Chinese style Thanksgiving dinner to bring our family together.

Be it an ordinary day for most people in Taiwan, it’s an extraordinary day for me on Thanksgiving. I feel many moments of gratitude in my heart. I feel the transformation of time to memory when the fine sand pours through a tiny hole of an hourglass. Thank you, my family and friends for being around with me.

Francesca Johnson and I have something in common. We have a dream, but we’re ensnared in the boredom and dullness of family chores. I wish I could hop on the van of Robert Kincaid waiting at the crossroads in the rain, but I wouldn’t have the courage to face the uncertainty. I would choose to stay with Richard like Francesca did, to live in a self-woven imaginary world of fantasy. The secret love prompted the writing genes of Francesca and she left behind three volumes diary of love. Two lovers were united when their cremated remains were scattered off Rosamunde Bridge of Madison County in Iowa. What a romance of emotions and tears!

What to do if I’m receiving an invitation of romance to stay away for a few days on the sunny beach of tropical islands in the Pacific? Why asked when nobody said not to go. Why not pack and run away from the unpredictable autumn weather in Taipei. It rains and shines like a moody person under the weather. The time of the year, only love can make people to put on smiles on their faces.

Don’t be surprised if I’m ready to add a big spoon of excitements to the plain plate of meal in front of me. Who would mind taking a few risks if only Cupid could shoot his bow on us! 

I won the bet Friday evening, to my surprise. Fabiona and I put on our best shoes to an open concert by River Arno in Florence August 2003. She and I bet on who could find a MAN before we returned home. After the concert, we were invited to a celebration party hosted by the Jazz Bar owner. Who would know that I would win his heart after a few trials of marijuana for the first time. The will power works wonders, I have no doubt. (Mister Donut 021, Taipei)

I saw The Bridges of Madison County for the second time this evening on Japanese satellite TV BS2. I saw a lonely woman, a wandering man, and a romantic encounter. I saw it with more critical eyes this time and I felt touched just the same. A love story is a love story regardless the age of the viewer.

People have affinity for each other for no reasons. Some popped up and walked along with us for a while. Some stayed for a long time. Some disappeared and showed up. I asked one of my friends why he called me long distance from Italy this afternoon out of the blue. He said he had been waiting to see me for the past three years and he would want to see my face in person.

Finally I drag myself to sit in front of the desktop and squeeze a few lines on the monitor. The habit of writing seems long gone. I don’t go to the coffeehouse for inspiration any more. I only spend time reading voraciously, one book after another. I become obsessed in designing party costumes and accessories with a wishful thinking of a romantic encounter.

Since last month my friend gave me a bag of colorful Swarovski crystals of different sizes, everything I’ve touched upon become dazzling and glittering, clothes, shoes, hats, and bags. People can actually pick up the shiny crystals falling from me on the street. What a unique way to do something good to the society, leave something valuable behind, solid and tangible.